Devotional: Love Is Not Resentful
“Love… is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…”
1 Corinthians 13:5
First Corinthians 13 is the classic “love” chapter in the Bible.
We can read the entire list of attributes that love embodies and quickly realize that we often fall extremely short. What is beautiful about that chapter is that it is actually describing God because 1 John 4:8 says that God is love.
He doesn’t just have those traits; He is those traits.
Our human nature wants to act in the exact opposite way of all the attributes in that chapter. That is why we must abide in His Spirit that lives within us.
What does it mean that love is not resentful?
In this devotional, I wanted to focus on one specific aspect from the list of love traits. Love is not resentful. Other translations say that love “keeps no record of wrongs” or “thinks no evil.”
But how many times, even as Christians, do we still take into account the wrong things people have done to us? How often do we continue to think of the evil things done against us? Our pride (and Satan, our enemy) wants us to stay stuck in a self-righteous cycle of hurt and bitterness.
Satan wants to put that resentment between you and someone who has hurt you. Resentment is not a godly attribute. It puts you and the person you resent in chains. No one is free. When that bitterness continues to brew inside of you, it will eventually seep out in ugly ways.
God, on the other hand, wants you to experience peace and freedom. Romans 12:8 says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”
So, how do you get rid of resentment?
Be honest with that person.
One part of loving someone is being truthful with them. Resentment can start to grow when we don’t express how we are feeling. Tell the person, lovingly, how they have wronged you. Remember that their reaction is out of your control. Even if they do not acknowledge their wrongs, it is now off your chest. It is okay to set healthy boundaries, especially if that person does not want to reckon or fix what they have done to you.
Abide in God and His love.
When you meditate on the grace, love, and mercy of God regularly, it will begin to overflow because His Spirit lives inside of you.
Basking in His love for you, a sinner, will help you love other sinners.
Remind yourself that God does not have resentment toward you.
The perfect God of the universe has forgiven you (an imperfect human) over and over again, regardless of the mistakes you’ve made and continue to make. If you remember that He does that for you, it makes it easier to let go of the hurt caused by other imperfect people.
Keep in mind that everyone is a product of their past.
It is helpful to remember that there’s a reason why a person acted the way they did. There’s a saying that goes, “Hurt people hurt people.” The wrong they have done is a reflection of who they are and not a reflection of you. Someday, we will have full understanding: “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light” - Luke 8:17
Look at yourself.
Take your eyes off the wrongdoings that others have committed against you and start looking at your imperfections. Focus on your growth with the Lord and what you can do to change.
Having resentment won’t change the other person, but it will start to change you negatively if you don’t deal with it.
Additionally, it might be important to ask yourself why someone’s actions hurt you. This will help you start digging into your past and heal from traumas you might have.
Remember that judgment is God’s.
Although God does not hold the sins of believers against them for salvation, we will still account for what we have done. 2 Corinthians 5:10 says, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” Trust that God will take care of all the evils committed against you.
Take a moment: Are you harboring any resentment towards someone?
I’ve had close friends hurt me recently and I noticed bitterness growing in my attitude about them. Once I recognized this, I reminded myself of the truths I mentioned above. It freed me from the ugliness that was brewing inside and compassion replaced that spot instead.
Choose to walk in His love and let go of resentment. This is how we live by faith.
-Alina